My favorite cee-ment ponds
Dear Mark,
My sister and I love to spend the day by the pool before we take
in a little gambling in the evening. Since we are going to Las
Vegas next month, do you have any recommendations of hotels that
offer decent pools? Faye K.
Congratulations, Faye, for treating gambling more like a time-killing
recreational activity. All gamblers when coming to Las Vegas should
plan other activities like visiting the Hoover Dam, the many fine
shows, shopping, health clubs, tennis or golf. Make it an enjoyable,
entertaining trip, not all gambling. Now for my favorite cee-ment
ponds. I'll first preface my choices by telling you that gray
is my favorite color, and I love inclement weather, not the heat
or intense sunshine of Las Vegas. But since you asked, my preferred
choices, for all the wrong reasons, are the swimming holes at
the Rio, the Mirage and the Tropicana: the Rio, not because they
actually have a sandy beach, but because it's closest to my favorite
buffet; the Mirage, not because it's the place to be seen, but
because I kept a room key from a previous visit so when my friends
stay in Vegas I can sneak in; and finally, the Tropicana, not
because it has the largest pool or poolside blackjack, but because
if you walk up to the Island Winners Club, fill out a player application,
and gamble a minimal amount, they'll give you a room for $39.95.
So based on what you just read, Faye, you really don't want my
opinion. Instead, call the Las Vegas Chamber for hotel information
at (800) 445-8864 and see what they recommend.
Dear Mark,
Why is it that every time the dice fly off the table, the next
number to roll is the seven? Uncanny isn't it? Should I bet on
the seven every time the dice go off the game? Robert N.
You would think, Robert, that every time you hear a dealer
call "It's on the ground, look around, it must be found"
or "Too tall to call" that the smart thing to do would
be to place a wager on the number seven because you believe it's
going to roll again. You'd be thinkin' wrong, pardner. By making
this wager part of your betting repertoire, you could easily be
joining the most pathetic bunch of losers since my ninth grade
remedial shop math class. Why? Because the probability of a seven
showing on any roll, off the table or not, is only 16.67 percent.
Forget what you perceive. Each roll of the dice always remains
the same, an independent event. More bad news. The one-roll wager
on the seven is the worst bet on the crap table. Casino advantage,
16.7 percent.
Sorry, Robert, what you perceive as happening all the time is
anecdotal evidence, not reality. Stay away from this wager!
Dear Mark,
I love the thrill and action of a casino. My wife, out of fear
of making mistakes and being harassed by other players, prefers
to sit in front of a slot machine. She avoids table games like
the plague. I can't even get her to play with me on my favorite
game, blackjack. Do many players have this anxiety? Chuck L.
Anyone who has ever been chastised for hitting a 16 when the
dealer shows a five can appreciate the anonymity of a slot machine.
Your wife obviously prefers a non-threatening environment where
her decisions won't be second-guessed.
I'm with you, Chuck. I would love to see your wife experience
table games offering excellent bets for the player, but who can
blame her? Why get verbally abused for faulty draws when a slot
machine will allow her the freedom to play her way, at her own
pace, without harassment.